My Missed Friday Favorites: Round 9!

Hello everyone!

Guys...it's almost time. It's so close that I can smell the antiseptic of the OR.

Or maybe that's just the smell of my kitchen. Since I just deep cleaned it. Who knows.

Regardless of what I smell, surgery is in 3 DAYS!!

Let me repeat that...SURGERY IS IN 3 DAYS!

Trust when I say I'm so ready for it. Beyond ready for it. As it gets closer and closer and my countdown gets lower and lower, my anxiety is climbing higher and higher. It comes with the territory. Let's be real. I don't have the best track record when it comes to my surgery experiences. But I am convinced that this is going to go perfectly (I will allow the minorest of setbacks if I must). I'm so optimistic about it, that I think it might confuse people. I'm not naïve about the fact that something could potentially go wrong. But something can go wrong with any surgery or recovery. I'm just hoping that this time goes a lot more smoothly than the last. My attitude towards it is optimistic but also very real. Which I think prepares me even more. That sixth chance is coming and it's coming very quickly.

This week I am dedicating my blog post to all the things I've missed throughout the last 90 days! I've realized over this time how much I took for granted and how much you all probably take for granted too. These things that I have missed are things I never really thought about until I had to watch them. A lot of them are simple things. Many of them have made me mentally stronger. Obviously I wish none of this had happened, but I know it's what I needed to do, and I know it will all be for the best once this surgery is over.

So here they are...

1. Being able to shower without having to cover up my port.
Every time I shower, I have to use a sheet of plastic with adhesive around the edges to protect the port from getting wet. I was told I could get it wet but could not submerge the area in water (so basically no pool, bath, hot tub, ocean, etc.) I found that the tape/adhesive around the actual port would ravel at the edges and start to come off if I got it wet, so I started to completely cover it up. This thing is 9inX9in so it's rather large. It reaches from my neck all the way down to my diaphragm. Then from my right armpit all the way past my sternum in the middle of my chest. Not only does it cause a bright red outline on my skin when I take it off, but it is difficult to lift my arms above my head to wash my hair. I've had to adjust the way I shower to meet my situation. Thank goodness I'm an OT student!
2. Being able to drink as much water as I want.
Because I am only supposed to have about 8oz of water per day, mainly to take my medicine at night, I have struggled with not drinking water throughout the day. My TPN has fluids in it to keep me hydrated, but I find that towards the end of the day, all I want to do is drink a large glass of ice water. The other reason I'd like to drink water is because of my workouts. I can only sip. So my mouth gets so dry when I work out. But I sip when I absolutely need to and just try to ignore it after my workouts. Normally I would down an entire water bottle after my workouts. Every time I talk to my health coach, she reminds me about how important it is to drink lots of water. So I got really good at drinking enough throughout the day. Now I'm going to have to train myself to drink enough again.
3. Being able to go out past 6pm.
I have a carrying case for my TPN and pump if I wanted to go out once I have plugged in, but that bag is super heavy and who wants to walk around with that all night. So I haven't left the house once since this all started when I am plugged in. It makes my life easier and probably everyone else's too.
4. Being able to sleep in.
Don't get me wrong. I can sleep as much as I want. But I have to get up relatively early to unplug every morning. And once I am up, I usually find it hard to go back to sleep.
5. Being able to walk around wherever I want once I'm plugged in.
I'm basically on a leash once I plug in at night. So it is hard to move around even my own apartment because I either have to carry the bag around with me (because the stand is absolutely useless) or I have to hope that the tube is long enough for me to go where I need to go.
6. Being able to carry my crossbody bag on my right shoulder.
Also sitting in the passenger's seat of a car. My port is on the right side. So anything that can hang from that side irritates it after a while, so I try to avoid it. The seatbelt on the passenger's side goes right across your right shoulder, therefore laying right on top of the port. I am right handed, so I naturally hang my crossbody bag over my right shoulder to hang on my left hip. So it also lays on top of the port.
7. Being able to do overhead exercises at the gym.
In the beginning, I had to avoid pushing, pulling, and anything overhead, which was a little limiting. I gradually started to reintroduce the pushing and pulling movements with success. But I haven't been able to do anything overhead because of the port. One of my favorite stretches are pass throughs. You hold a PVC pipe above your head and keep going down the body until it reaches your butt. It stretches your shoulder muscles and really opens you up. Once I can do things overhead, I will have a world of possibilities.
8. Not having to drive to Gainesville almost every week.
That trip is incredibly boring. It's all back roads. It's only 57 miles from St. Augustine, but those roads are 45 mph then 60 then 50 then 30 then 65. It's ridiculous. Plus when you are by yourself, it's even more boring. Which is the main reason I started bring Nicholas Sparks along with me in the form of an audio book.
9. Being able to wear any of my clothes.
For the most part, I wear whatever I want.  When I go into public, I usually try to cover up my port so that there are less questions and less explanations. Because the bandage covering is so high up, even t-shirts don't completely cover it up. If I'm with people I know well, I wear whatever because they already know why I have the port. I even had to buy a new bathing suit because you can still get that area around the port sunburnt because it is see-through.
10. Being able to go in public without wiping everything down and sometimes wearing a mask.
Everything has to be wiped down. Even people's hands if they hug me or touch me. It will be nice to not have to ask people to wash their hands every time they come near me.
11. Not having to deal with medical tape.
Enough said.
12. Being able to go to school.
All my friends that go to school with me are saying "I wouldn't miss it," in their heads right now. But let me tell you...it's weird when you can't go to school or work or anything like that. I enjoy school because I'm so interested in it. I miss seeing my friends. I miss having casual conversations in person and not over the phone or a text. I don't really miss all the studying, but I miss school a lot because it is leading me to the career of my dreams.
13. And the obvious...FOOD.
Ohmygosh how I miss food. I've always been a snacker. That's probably not going to be the case after not eating for 80+ days. It's so weird to think about the fact that I haven't had one piece of food in my mouth for almost three months. I feel like I've forgotten how things taste. The other day I was helping a friend make deviled eggs, which are one of my favorites, and she doesn't like the egg yolk part. She mixed everything up and then didn't want to taste it to make sure it had enough flavor. And obviously I couldn't taste it. It was beyond hard. What I wouldn't give to have a taco or a big bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce. I'd even go for a big loaded salad or a strawberry for pete's sake. I mean really...it's been the hardest part. One of the biggest worries about my recovery is refeeding syndrome. And yes that is a real thing. Basically your body rejects food and causes your body to act strangely when you reintroduce foods to your diet. Needless to say, it's going to be a long process. People have asked me what my first meal will be. I always smile and say chicken broth and a cup of juice. Think about it. I can't just start eating steak again the first day after my surgery. That won't come until a few weeks after surgery. But regardless of how long it takes, I will be patient. I have been patient up until now. May as well keep up that attitude all the way to the end.

Weekly Tally:
Days on TPN and lipids- 74
Days with no food- 79

As if you needed another reminder...

Countdown to Surgery:
3 DAYS!!!

On Monday or Tuesday next week, I will have my mom update the blog on how everything went. If you are lucky, it might be me updating it. Fingers crossed!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! And thank you in advance for all the thoughts and prayers you guys are sending my way today, this weekend, and definitely Monday!

I will see you when I see you! Love you guys!

XOXO,

Kayleigh