Six Chances

Hello wonderful readers!

First, I want to say thank you for all the wonderful comments and views I got so quickly on my first blog post! It was honestly a little overwhelming!

Now it is time to explain the title of my blog.

I fully believe that everyone deserves a second chance. It can be a more simple second chance, like forgiving someone that you had an argument with or it can be a little more deep like surviving a horrific accident. Either way, everyone deserves a chance to live their life to the fullest, no matter the circumstances.

I also believe that some people get extra fortunate and get more than one chance. I call them the "lucky ones". And crazy enough, I consider myself one of the few lucky ones.

Usually people get two chances in life. I've gotten five.

I know you're all saying, "But wait...your blog is called Six Chances."

You'd be correct. Let me explain.

My first chance came when I had my first surgery. This surgery was supposed to change everything, and despite it not changing everything like I would have hoped, it did change everything. I may not have been aware what was going on at the time, but it changed my life. I lived. That's all that really matters. So that was Chance #1.

2nd surgery, after doctors found an infection = Chance #2
3rd surgery, after doctors found an abscess = Chance #3
4th surgery, after doctors found another infection and ended up giving me an ileostomy = Chance #4.
5th surgery, after six months of recovery, reversal of ileostomy = Chance #5

So basically my chances are based off of my surgeries. At least in my mind they are. Each surgery gave me a chance to live. I was a very sick girl. They honestly didn't know if I would make it out of the hospital. With every surgery, most people get a higher chance of survival. For some reason, mine got lower with every surgery.

Every chance that God has given me, I have fought back to the best of my ability. And look where I am today. I'm doing what I love and it is going to lead to my dream career. Something I am going to love getting up for every morning. Something that will give me a chance to work with children every day. Something that will give me the opportunity to learn something new about life and about myself every single day. Something that will give me a chance to give someone else a chance, whether it be their first chance or tenth chance. This is what I feel I was made for. I was made to go through these challenges so that I could give other people chances and understand them.

But unfortunately everything has been halted for the moment.

Back in April, I had a colonoscopy, just as an "every three years" kind of thing. They found an area in my small intestine that was very narrow, to the point where they couldn't even get the camera through.  My doctor sent me to a specialist in Gainesville, FL. Her job was to give a second opinion. She found out that I had tried just about every biologic medication out there. I had built up antibodies to one and I had to stop it. The second one just wasn't working. So I started a double therapy. I started taking a pill version and an IV version. I started Remicade, which is given through an IV every six weeks. I basically just sit in a room for three hours and receive the medication, while I either study or watch Netflix. On top of all this, I changed all my supplements and started on more heavy ones that would absorb better into my system.

We waited and I started to feel SO much better, so of course, I got really excited.  They did some blood work in October and all my levels were perfect. My white blood cell count and CRP levels (which is an indicator of inflammation) were all completely within normal limits. Let me tell you...that hasn't been the case in about ten years. When you have an autoimmune disease, your body attacks anything that may be out of the normal. Well basically my entire life isn't normal, so when you have TWO autoimmune diseases, you have to be extremely careful with anything and everything you do.  Usually my CRP levels are high because of some type of inflammation, and then my WBC count goes up because they start to attack the inflammation. So both are usually high. I honestly don't remember the last time they were normal.

So of course I had high hopes. Maybe this would be my chance at remission. Maybe the inflammation was going away because the medication was working.

And then I started to get sick again.

Around Thanksgiving I started getting really nauseous all the time. It was hard for me to reverse it, so I would be in bed all day. It was hard to keep much of anything down so I started losing weight. Christmas came and went and I wasn't doing any better. When I returned to St. Augustine for my spring semester, I called my doctor to talk about the issues I had been having. I was sent for an x-ray of my abdomen to see if I had an obstruction and a large series of blood tests.  The blood tests came back and the results were great. The x-ray came back and the results were less than great.

They found that the narrowing I had back in April was still there. And it hadn't become any smaller.

What does that mean exactly? Well it means that the medication is working. My CRP and WBC counts and all my vitamin levels are great. This means that the narrowing isn't necessarily being caused by my Crohn's. The narrowing is from scar tissue. Where did this come from and how did it get there? Well it came from my past surgeries and it's there because my body never really had the best chance at recovery, so in theory, that narrowing has been there since I had the surgeries ten years ago. What gets rid of scar tissue? The "S" word. Surgery. The doctors could give me every medication in the world, but nothing gets rid of scar tissue.

So what's my next step?

Well first, I took a medical leave from school. I am currently not in school because of everything happening. It was incredibly hard for me to do that, but I knew I didn't have the right mindset to focus on school as much as I should be. My advisor and program director have been extremely supportive and agreed with my decision. So I did it.

Second, I am going back to see another specialist in Gainesville. At this point, the end result will be surgery. I am going to push for the surgery. I'm ready to feel better and obviously I am not looking for a quick fix, but if this helps, then I am all for it. I am going to see the specialist on January 30 (next Monday), so prayers would be appreciated.

Third, I will meet with a surgeon and hopefully schedule something.

Logistically, it's a little crazy that I am going farther from home to do this. I am about 6.5 hours away from Fort Mill right now, but Gainesville is another two hours away. But we have it planned out and my family is ready to do what they need to at a moment's notice.

What is going on in my head? A LOT. Of course I'm anxious. Anxious to feel better but also anxious to actually have all this done. Scared because why wouldn't I be? My history isn't the best. My track record indicates that anything can happen, so I have to be ready for anything to happen. Excited to feel like me again and to go back to school eventually with a whole new determination. Tired because I haven't been sleeping well. A lot of things running through my mind at all times. It's honestly exhausting.

Right now, I'm just trying to keep myself busy. I've planted some flowers on our porch, cleaned a lot, found some new recipes to try, signed up for a sign language online class, watched a lot of Gilmore Girls on Netflix, found some books to read on the beach, made some plans of things I want to do in St. Augustine, continued with my private trainer, and started this blog. I'm doing these things for me, because I fully believe you not only have to be physically and medically strong, but also emotionally and mentally strong to deal with something like this.

So that brings me to Chance #6. Well it technically hasn't happened yet. But it's coming up quick. And I have no doubt in the world that I will thrive throughout this time and beat it in the end. My 6th chance is coming and I can't wait to see what's on the other side.

As always, thank you for reading! If you have any questions or comments, I encourage you to add them at the bottom! As you can tell, I'm very open about everything and willing to share just about anything you want to know. I promise to keep everyone updated, and because that's all I know as of right now, I'm moving on to other things in my next blog post.

So stay tuned!

XOXO,
Kayleigh